This is a copy of the note Nikki’s mother sent to the judge today. It sums up a lot of the questionable behavior on the part of Heather Delgado’s side fairly nicely.
To: Honorable Judge Randy M. Clapp
329th Judicial District Court
100 S. Fulton, Suite 200
Wharton, TX 77488
Via email: Cassie Ritter, Court Administrator
cassie@329th.com
Re: Nikki Araguz
Dear Sir:
I am Nikki Araguz’s mother. It is with great distress that we learned FROM A TRUSTED REPORTER IN THE MEDIA about your judgment in the lawsuits against our daughter, Nikki Araguz – on Monday night, BEFORE you officially announced your decision. The Plaintiff’s attorney, FRANK MANN, continued his historical mal-practice of malicious, devious, and vindictive actions by releasing press releases in advance of court proceedings – his obvious motivation was to emotionally hurt Nikki and our family. Again.
Was he permitted to release this information prior to court proceedings on Tuesday? If not, will you, as Judge, find him in Contempt of Court, and sanction him for this abhorrent behavior? Are you aware that Mr. Mann had – while our beloved son-in-law was alive – maliciously released personal and HIPPA information about Nikki and Thomas to the general public that was politically and personally motivated? That Mr. Mann, while hired by Heather Delgado, had conflict of interest, as he had been an attorney for Nikki and Emilio Mata in a bankruptcy proceeding case, therefore had client/attorney knowledge which he used in distributing this harassing and hurtful email last year – intending to cause emotional, financial, psychological, professional and relationship harm to THOMAS and NIKKI. Heather Delgado obtained private, personal documents while seeking more MONEY – Thomas had NO income, as he had just finished 2 years of college, while Nikki paid child support for his two children, and her income supported Thomas and herself.
You never met my husband and I, although we wished we could have been with our daughter every time there was a court hearing. I am a stroke survivor, paralyzed in a wheelchair, diabetic, have seizures, and a colostomy. My husband has had 3 heart attacks, quintuple-bypass surgery last year, mini-strokes since Thomas died, and has COPD on oxygen. We are unable to travel, and I receive home nursing care. THOMAS WAS AN IMPORTANT MEMBER OF OUR FAMILY, WHO LOVED US AS PARENTS, was always here to help us, and we have suffered immeasurable grief and loss. THOMAS took my husband – his father-in-law – to the hospital on Feb. 1, 2010, the morning of bypass surgery. THOMAS and Nikki were with me in the ER of Methodist Hospital on June 3, 2010, when I had a seizure, and was taken unconscious to the Stroke Center with another traumatic brain injury. THOMAS stayed with me on June 21, 2010 – the day AFTER Father’s Day – with his two boys, our grandsons – while Nikki took her Dad to the doctor. (Yes, I have pictures of that day, of Thomas and the boys on my sofa.)
I do not understand WHY you could render a judgment that would dishonor our son-in-law’s love and commitment for Nikki when he proposed to her, and married her, lived as husband and wife with her until his tragic death. I cannot comprehend how you could conclude that their marriage was “invalid” when CLEARLY Thomas Araguz III knowingly, willingly, and without any reservations or conditions, married Nikki and held out with pride to EVERYONE that she was his wife. His parents had NO questions or issues with Nikki until 1. Frank Mann unethically violated their privacy with his venomous emails, 2. Heather in her attempt to squeeze more child support from Thomas (who had NO earned income) viciously shared Nikki’s HIPPA-protected and private information with Thomas’ family and 3. after Thomas’ death, when I SUSPECT attorneys (Frank Mann?) suggested to Heather Delgado and Simona Longoria that they could BENEFIT from HURTING NIKKI and DISHONORING THOMAS with these “frivolous” lawsuits. Apparently, their “idea” worked – they didn’t care about the children, or Thomas! They only wanted MONEY. And you ruled in their favor. I do not understand that.
Our daughter was born with a birth defect. I am her mother. I cannot control what a doctor erroneously “checked” on a birth certificate form in 1975. Her biological father was in the military, and he received orders to go overseas on the day she was born. We moved from California to Texas so I could be near my parents – Nikki was only a few weeks old. Her brother was 2. Her father was a decorated Army Veteran, when he was killed in a car accident at age 21. That very day, I had called Fort Hood to discuss a birth defect that my baby had – Nikki. She was an infant.
It is beyond my comprehension why you, Sir, would find her marriage to Thomas “invalid” when Nikki had been married to Emilio Mata for ten years, and divorced him in Wharton, Texas – whose court granted that divorce? I ask, Your Honor, because obviously that means Nikki and Emilio’s marriage was legally recognized as “Valid” – in order for there to be a divorce to be granted.
Again, I find it interesting that the plaintiff attorney, FRANK MANN, had represented Nikki and Emilio Mata in their bankruptcy while THEY WERE MARRIED! Mr. Mann took their money for legal fees, never questioned whether Mr. and Mrs. Mata’s MARRIAGE was “valid” – so yet, he represents plaintiff in this lawsuit against our daughter, when she married Thomas, and he died? Besides Mr. Mann’s conflict of interest, and questionable motives, it seems a double-standard on his part to recognize Nikki’s marriage to Emilio Mata, but try to invalidate her marriage to Thomas Araguz. Money… Nikki did not file ANY actions – the plaintiffs brought this devastation on her, and ALL OF US with hurtful allegations and these lawsuits.
So please don’t tell me, Sir, who my child is – or that her marriage to Thomas Araguz III should be found “invalid”. She is and always has been affectionate, beautiful, ambitious, thoughtful, compassionate, proactive, and loving.
Besides the actual marriage ceremony, which should be recognized considering Nikki had already been married and divorced in Texas without legal entities questioning validity, Nikki and Thomas lived together, had joint bank accounts and jointly was known as husband and wife for almost two years, which in any other situation would be “common law” marriage – requiring a divorce if there were a conflict between two individuals in such a relationship.
I wish I could have been in your courtroom, Sir, to express my thoughts. I trust Nikki’s legal counsel will appeal your decision, as our entire family feel Nikki has been treated with disrespect, dehumanized, discriminated against, and used as a punching bag for others’ self-serving motivations.
Kindest Regards,
Sheri Taylor Bockelman
Tags: gender GLBT Transgender
i just recently met Nikki. Fell like i've known her a lifetime… This whole issue makes me sick… and if i might add those kind of people are a disgrace to what or world should be. i hope there will be an appeal, and Nikki gets all they want!!! Love to you, Nikki. Laurie Cashman
I believe that a trust should be set for the children, if this decision is not overturned and the adults should not be allowed to touch it. The biological mother will be able to draw social security death benefits for the children.
You, Mrs. Bockelman, are my hero.
Ironic that Mrs. Bockelman would complain about unethical conduct while engaging in ex parte communications with a judge-one of the biggest ethical no-nos in litigation.
God bless your family, Mrs. Bockelman. I was personally grieved to hear of the decision, and your letter gives us all hope. Your cause is right and just. I truly hope it will be rectified in appeal. Having been through two lawsuits in my life, I know how grueling it is. I hope she can shake off this adversity, get some rest, then find renewed strength to make an appeal. She is absolutely in the right.
I still find the whole thought that "you are not the gender you know you are" until a court says you are to be alittle, to say the least, disarming. What is even more sinister is the thought that once "the court recognizes" you as being the gender you know you are, that they can then back pedal and say, "well, you may be this gender now, but "x" years ago you weren't." See where I am going with that? The point being, once the court recognizes "you", "me" , "whomever" as being a certain gender then it shoulsd become inclusive. That being, no magical mark in the sand that says "once you were a man now you are a woman". Once "you", "me", "whomever" is validated in court legally to be said gender, there should be no legal ground for stating that "one was once another gender". The idea being:that once "you" are legally recognized to be the gender you know you are then you can no longer be said to "have been a 'man' or a 'woman'. There needs to be some new language in these laws that prevenets this type of back pedaling.
What is missing in this letter is that Nikki (he or she, birth defect or none) was estranged from Thomas at the time of his death. Why would anyone, including her mother feel that she deserves money from someone who she had no intentions of being with. I know that Nikki along with her family and friends have made it look like Nikki is the victim here, she is not. She is simply looking for something that is not and should not be hers for the taking. I know that Nikki nor her friends or family are happy with the Judge’s ruling and continue to say that this is not the way many other states look at this type of marriage…..I say, move to those other states. Where you live and where you die will determine the rules of the game and if you don’t like how it is played in Texas…..move!
The thing that is not being mentioned here is that Nikki (he or she, birth defect or not) was estranged from Thomas at the time of his death. For those of you who may not know what that means….Thomas and Nikki were not living together as man and wife at the time of his death. I know that her friends and family have painted her to be the victim here….she is not! What Nikki is fighting for is not benefits where she was the named beneficiary, these are death benefits folks….these are benefits that will be paid from the insurance companies because Thomas is dead. Does Nikki deserve these benefits??? NO, his children deserve these benefits.
I know that Nikki and her family and friends have continued to make statements that this is not the way it is in other states…I say to them, MOVE! The rules are the rules and the facts are the facts, Nikki was born a male and in the State of TEXAS, this is not recognized. I wish no ill harm on Nikki and hope that she is able to move forward in a positive manner and allow Thomas' children to do the same. At the end of the day, the children will be the ones to suffer by continuing to drag this on and on. Peace and Love to all of you! Pray for the children as they are the ones to suffer through all of this fighting.
LOL! That pesky 14th amendment seems to always get in the way, doesn't it? I'm sure you think it's just fine that the majority should get to vote on minority rights, don'tcha? I mean, once a member of the nation's largest anti-GLBT organisation (the Republican party) makes an anti-GLBT rule, we just need to accept it, right?
Nikki was NOT "estranged" from Thomas! They had JUST signed a new rental agreement on a house! And, not that I have to explain to STRANGERS about our family – but YOU were not there when she was born, when I discovered her birth defect, when pediatricians first were consulted – when childhood specialists were consulted – as our family LIVED through Nikki's childhood and growing up experiences. YOU do not have a CLUE that my family has a genetic history of reproductive birth defects, inherited through maternal lineage. My mother was a MEDICAL CASE STUDY when I was born, because of HER BIRTH DEFECT – which is extremely rare, like Nikki's – and was also inherited by one of my sisters. And by the way, my husband is a Texan, graduated Memorial High School, went to A&M – his parents AND mine lived and died in Texas – as did our grandparents, and Nikki's biological father, a Vietnam era Army veteran who was awarded the Army Commendation Medal – is buried in Texas. NIKKI DID NOT, REPEAT DID NOT – INITIATE THIS LAWSUIT!!!! And, sorry, you are wrong – Thomas DID list Nikki as his LIFE INSURANCE BENEFICIARY – the greed of the plaintiffs who want the WIDOW'S SHARE – not the est. $300,000 that the boys were/should receive as the children – but what Thomas' WIFE should rightly receive. I WAS A WIDOW. I know what benefits children receive from Social Security – and I am sure Heather as already been receiving somewhere around $1300-$1500/month for the boys in Social Security Benefits, plus any other monies potentially donated to her on behalf of the boys. NIKKI AND OUR FAMILY LOVE THOSE CHILDREN!!! How DARE anyone suggest otherwise! I have their picture in my living room, and miss them every day. NO ONE knows OUR grief, our suffering, how this has caused my husband and I so much pain, our health has deteriorated. LAWSUITS ARE ABOUT MONEY – WHO HIRED ATTORNEYS TO FILE LAWSUITS? Not our daughter! She was burying her husband! THEY were plotting to use those little boys as public pawns for MONEY. Thomas would be furious – I know, because he and I had more than one conversation about how he felt – who he loved – that he would always take care of Nikki… oh, and MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE BEEN MARRIED 35 YEARS. I do believe that Thomas' parents were divorced – which Thomas STILL had issues with because of certain "situations" – and Thomas DIVORCED Heather, and did NOT have a "friendly" relationship with her – he tolerated her, for his children's sake. THEN, there is Heather… hmmm. She does NOT have a "heavenly" past that she'll want to tell her sons about – but funny how "secrets" always come out eventually. I love my daughter. I loved Thomas. I love those two little boys, as I do ALL my grandchildren, including the granddaughter from Nikki's first marriage. This whole thing just makes me ill… God, please watch over all those whom I love.